The Lesson of Darkness

I remember as a little girl my mother always wanted a light on in the house even when we were sleeping.  She did not like the dark, therefore, some kind of light would be left on in just about every room.  I don't remember ever being afraid of the dark, but maybe that is because I was not in the dark very much!  To this day I can sleep in a room with a light on right above my head and not even notice.  I do have one nightlight in my kitchen, but not in every room of  my house.

So fearing the dark in a physical sense has not been a issue for me, however, there is a different kind of darkness that has brought fear into my life.  That is the fear of spiritual darkness when I've searched and wondered where God was in my life.  It has come in different venues as I traveled through my spiritual journey.  It seems it comes in the pivotal times of my seeking direction for where to go to college, should I attend seminary, should I move to another place of ministry, and during the illness and deaths of parents and siblings. I often felt that something must be wrong with me and I was not following the right journey or everything would be different or I would feel the darkness of confusion or even the silence of God.

As I matured in my journey of faith, I discovered that God is always present even during the darkest times of life.  It took a lot of discipline and trust to recognize that the darkness was often created by me and my fears rather than God not being there for me.  Learning to face the fears and trust is an ongoing process in my journey.

I've just finished reading Barbara Brown Taylor's book, "Learning to Walk in the Dark".  I found it to be of interest because she talks of a way to find your way in your spiritual journey when you don't have all the answers or sometimes you don't even know the questions.

She shares in the book about how we associate all that is good with light and all that is evil and dangerous with darkness. She leads you in a journey to recognize that God has lessons to teach during the dark.   She also reminds us that if we can put aside our fears and anxieties to explore the "dark" that we will find courage, a new way to understand the world and we can feel God's presence around us.  We will discover things seen and unseen have valuable lessons for us and sometimes we will discover we grow the most during the dark. She also shares how important it is to find our way through times of uncertainty and helping us understand to discover through the nighttime of life we can still have strength and hope to face all those life challengers coming our way.

In the last couple of weeks in the city of Dalton, our community has had to deal with several "dark situations" which does not make sense.  The death of a 16 year old who fought a battle with cancer but did not win that battle here and the death of a pastor who chose to take his own life.  Those are things that are not suppose to happen to anyone anywhere.  As our pastor on Sunday so adequately stated, "God works the Night Shift", he reminded us just as Barbara Taylor Brown did that God is there even during the dark.

Darkness in our lives often comes with a clear agenda and leads to ask questions such as "why",
"what were you thinking", and why does none of this make sense?  We may never know the "why", but thankfully we know God's presence is around us and we can have hope and strength.

Twila Paris penned these words which helps me bring understanding to the times of darkness in  the song :
 "I Will Listen:"

"Hard as it seems standing in dreams
Where is the dreamer now?
Wonder if I wanted to try
Would I remember how?

I don't know the way to go from here
but I know that I have made my choice
And this is where I stand until He moves me on
And I will listen to His voice.

This is the faith, patience to wait
When there is nothing clear
Nothing to see, still we believe
Jesus is very near

I cannot imagine what will come
But I've already made my choice
And this is where I stand until He moves me on
and I will listen to His voice

Could it be that He is only
Waiting there to see?
If I will learn to love the dreams
That He has dreamed for me.

Can't imagine what the future holds
but I've already made my choice
And this is where I stand until He moved me on
And I will listen to His voice.

"This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope.
The Lord's loving kindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Thy faithfulness". Lam. 3;21-23