Do You Need a New Measuring Stick?

PONDERINGS  MARCH 25, 2014

Do You Need a New Measuring Stick?

I have to admit that I am not one to need a measuring stick for too many things. When I hang a picture I tend to “eyeball” it and said, “Oh I think it is straight”! I am not a “DIY” person so I don’t have a need for one for “do it yourself projects”. I don’t sew so I don’t need one to measure fabric. In reality, I don’t use a measuring stick very often. I have been known to use one to help me get something from a shelf I could not reach! I have several at my house for when my family or friends come and they do projects for me so they can be accurate.

However, when I begin to think about how I measure my life experiences, I wonder if I need a New Measuring Stick!  What do I use when I measure my self-worth, my attitude, my daily life, and what the future holds.

When we begin to measure our self-worth we often tend to use the measuring stick of “fear” when we look at ourselves. We spend time fearful of what people are thinking about us. We often find that we try to become what we think others want us to be rather than who we really are. We often use that “fear” stick when we look at how God thinks of us and we often feel unworthy of His love and grace.

The measuring stick of self-worth should be one that recognizes our uniqueness and how we were wonderfully and fearfully made.  The Psalmist expressed his self-worth in Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”. When we use this as our measuring stick, we no longer have need of the “fear” stick of what people think or how God feels about us.

The measuring stick for attitude is decided by each person.  Life is not always like an easy Merry Go Round ride. More often than not it is Roller Coaster ride. I can remember my dad saying, “when you are in the valley, and you climb back to the top one thing you will notice: the valley was not as low as the last time and the mountain top is a little higher than the last time.” We need to keep climbing knowing God will always help us not go as low as we have been and will help us reach new heights of life through choosing a positive attitude.

The measuring stick for our attitude should be one that does not measure the WHY of our circumstances but HOW we respond to our circumstances.  The following quote perhaps could serve as a reminder of the kind of measuring stick we need, “The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.” Dennis S. Brown

The measuring stick looking at life situations, often is one that will use the past as a measuring stick instead of looking at the present.  There is not one person who has not had something tragic or bad happen to them. It could be a loss of a job you think was unfair, the loss of a spouse through divorce, loss of a child through death, your child chooses drugs or a lifestyle that is not what you would want for them, the list could go on and on with different unfair situations in life.

Using the measuring stick of “things are unfair” leads to the development of a lack of trust in people and God. A lack of trust in someone else loving you because you were hurt, not trusting your boss because you have been mistreated by another boss, becoming an overprotected parent to your children because you had the loss of a child, a fear of trusting your child again because they may disappoint again, and if God really loved me He would not allow these things to happen.

In order to overcome this we must recognize that our past is the past and we have to live in the today.  This quote is a wonderful attitude to adopt for living in the here and now.  “Fear not for the future, weep not for the past” Author unknown Words of hope and comfort are found in the words of Jeremiah, “And there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 31:17

The measuring stick for the future is often; ”What is going to happen next?” as if it could not possibly be anything positive.  Using this measuring stick, the prediction will not be positive.

We may need a new measuring stick of “Hope”. The following quote from Henry Ward Beecher might describe this kind of measuring stick: “Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith and hope.”  The choice is left up to us to decide which handle we pick up.

The Psalmist in Psalms 31:24 gives instructions for those needing hope. “Be strong take courage, All you who hope in the Lord.” 

 Do you need a new measuring stick?  Just remember: “If the sky falls, hold up your hands.”  Author Unknown

Journey through Lent

Pondering, March 6, 2013

After attending the Ash Wednesday service I begin to reflect upon what does this season of Lent really mean for me.  We often think of giving up something for Lent to help us remember the sacrifice that Jesus made for us. I don’t think anyone could give up anything in their life that would represent the sacrifice Jesus made but at least for me it has always been a feeble attempt.

One year I decided to give up Caffeine for Lent.  It was about the third day into the Lent season my administrative assistant came into my office and said, “You know I don’t think God would mind if you decided to not give up Caffeine and gave up something else for Lent. I know I would not mind”.  I am not sure who was making the most sacrifice with me giving up caffeine.  I think she felt she was the one making the sacrifice.

You can also “add something” instead of “giving up” during Lent.  When I was living in the Atlanta area and faced the traffic every day I had a policy of letting one person into the traffic each day.  So I decided that I would “add 2 people” a day.  For those of you who have never driven in the traffic during rush hour that might not seem like much to you.  But when it takes 45+ minutes to go less than 10 miles it does become a sacrifice. Well at least for me it was a sacrifice.

As I have tried to continue to grow in my spiritual journey my Lenten journey has involved into different experiences.  I have come to see not so much the “giving up” or “adding something” aspect of Lent but more of the inward reflection of what Lent means.  As we go through the 40 days which leads up to Easter I want to become more aware of things I need to be doing on a daily basis.  In this journey I have become more aware of what it means to be in tuned to my inward journey of thoughts and actions.

I have come to recognize for me that Lent is more about paying attention to the little things in my life.  I recognize that I need to pay more attention to:

1.  My relationship with God

2.  My relationship with others

3.  My relationship to myself

As I ponder and attend to these things, my prayer and hope is that I will come to a sacred place of journey that will help me improve in the three areas.

During Lent this year I plan on doing random acts of kindness each day to develop relationships with my family, friends and to people I do not know. In doing these random acts of kindness I want to challenge myself to become intentional in paying attention.

My goal is to become more intentional in inviting God into my daily life activities and come to the place where I don’t strive to “do” more but to “be” more.

As you ponder your Lenten journey, do you also find the need to be more intentional in the sacred places of your life to pay more attention?

 

A letter from Joseph to his Mother

 

Dear Mom,

We are still in Bethlehem—Mary and I and little Jesus.

There are a lot of things I have not been able to talk to you about but I’m not sure you would have believed me anyway.  I want to share those things with you now and I hope you understand.

Mom, you know I have always loved Mary.  In fact, you and dad use to tease me about her when she was still a young girl.  I remember playing with her and her brothers on our street even though I was older than them.  I remember the dinners we would have together as families.  It was always fun to share times with each other’s families.

Just over a year ago was one of the hardest days in my life.  It was when I was 20 and Mary was about 15 and we were already betrothed and signed the marriage agreement at our engagement.  At the same time, Mary left abruptly to visit her cousin Elizabeth in Judea.  She was gone for three months.  When she got back, people were asking if she was pregnant.

I heard all those rumors and it was hard for me.  So one day I finally asked her, “Mary are you going to have a baby?”  Her brown eyes meet mine and she nodded yes?

I really did not know what to say but I finally muttered, “Who”?

Mom, Mary and I had never acted improperly—even after we were engaged. I did not know what to think. 

Mary in her quiet sweet way said to me, “Joseph, there is no way I can explain. You would not understand. But I want you to know that I have never cared for or loved anyone but you.”  She got up and took my hands into hers and kissed them both and started home.  She must have been dying inside, I know I was.

The rest of that day I stumbled through my chores, it is a wonder I did not hurt myself in the shop.  I was angry and my thoughts whirled around fast in my head. I finally decided the best thing to do was to end the marriage contract with a quiet divorce.  I loved her too much to make a public scene.

I could not talk to you or anyone for that matter.  When I went to bed that night I was very restless.  I kept hearing Mary’s voice in my head, “I never cared for anyone but you”.  I wish I could believe her!

I finally drifted off to sleep and Mom you will not believe what happened. I had a dream and an angel visited me in the dream.  The angel said, “Joseph, do not afraid to marry Mary.  Her pregnancy is Spirit-conceived. God’s Holy Spirit has made her pregnant.  She will have a son and when she does you, Joseph, will name him Jesus, meaning God Saves, because he will save his people from their sins.”  I remember that angel as if it were yesterday.  It was as if the angel held my shoulders with his huge hands and his gaze pierced deep within me.

When I woke up, I thought, “This is the answer”. The angel has given me the reason. I got up dressed quietly so I would not awake you and I went outside for a walk.  I must have walked for miles in the moonlight. Stars pricked the sky with light and there was a warm breeze blowing on my face.

I even sang to the Lord, Mom.  I know yes me singing. I could not contain my joy and I told God I would take Mary and care for her. I told Him I would watch over her and the child and I would always be there for her no matter what anyone said.

As the sun was coming up and I got close to home, I could see you outside and you were surprised to see me, remember? I said, “Mom, sit down there is something I need to tell you.”  You sat down on that big rock and I said, “Mom, I am going to bring Mary home as my wife.  Could you help make a place for her things?”

You were silent for a long time.  Then you said, “You do know what they are saying, don’t you son?”  Your eyes were brimming with tears.  “Yes, Mom, I know”.

Your voice started to rise as you said, “If your father were still alive, he’d have some words like, “I’ll tell you, going about like that before you are married. Disgracing the family and all. You and Mary should be ashamed of yourselves”!

I knew you would never believe me if I’d tried to explain, so I just did not. Unless the angel had spoken to you personally I knew you would not understand and would have laughed at me.

I remember saying, “Mom this is the right thing to do”.  Then I said in a little huff, “When she comes I do not want one word uttered to her about this.  She is your daughter in law and you will respect her.  She’ll need your help to bear the neighbors’ wagging tongues.”

Mom, you did not deserve that and when you got up to walk away, I knew you were angry with me. But when I said, “I need you”. You took my hand, got to your feet, but the fire was gone from your eyes.

“You can count on me Joseph”, you said as you gave me a big hug. I knew you meant it and I never heard another word. A new bride could not have hoped for a better mother in law than you those next few months.

After I left you, I went to Mary’s house. I knocked on the door and her mother came to the door but I could tell she was angry.  She finally loudly said, “It’s Joseph!” almost spitting my name out as she said it.

Mary came to the door and I could tell she had been crying.  She looked afraid.  I took her hand and I said, “Pack your things, Mary.” As gently as I could say it I said, “I’m taking you home to be my wife”.

“Joseph” she said.  She hugged me really tight.  I could see her eyes become brighter with the news.

I told her what I had been planning.  “We’ll go to Rabbi Ben-Ezer’s house this week and have him perform the ceremony”.  Mary was shuddering as she sobbed quietly.

“Mary”, I said.  I could feel myself speaking more boldly, “No matter what anyone says about you, I’m proud you’re going to be my wife.  I’m going to take good care of you, I have promised God that.”

She looked up at me questioning me with her eyes. I said, “Mary I had a dream last night, and the angel told me, I know”.  The fear was gone and she was radiant as we turned away from the house and began to walk up the hill.

Mom, I think her mother must have been listening because she came running out in the yard, “Wait” she called. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.  She said, “I’ll get your Father, we are going to have a wedding”.

So that how it was, Mom.  I will have to share all the amazing things that have happened since we arrived in Bethlehem.  You won’t believe all those things to, but it has been amazing to be part of God’s plan for the world.

I will write again soon.

Love, Joseph

 

 

 

Can you SEE me now?

It seems with my recent cataract surgeries my focus has been on “seeing clearly”.

This past July on a Wednesday afternoon all of a sudden I begin to not see clearly out of my right eye.  I could not imagine what had happen so the next morning I went to the eye doctor and he said, “That cataract is ready to come off”!

I was shocked and said, “What cataract”?  He said he told me when I was there in Feb. but I guess I had “selective hearing” because I don’t remember him saying anything about that!

It took me 3 weeks to get an appointment in Chattanooga and they confirmed that I did have a cataract in my right eye and my left eye!  I told the doctor I could not tell I had one in my left eye, to which she replied, you will notice it more when we get the right eye fixed.  I told her I felt like I fit the description of “blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other!”  She said "pretty much"!

It was another month before I got to have the surgery. The right eye was first and then two weeks the other one would be done. I had cloudy vision during the entire time. It was very frustrating and was tiring also!  Even though I dreaded the surgery, I was ready to see again.

On the afternoon of the surgery, my vision was still blurry because of all the drops plus the swelling of the eye ball.    I was thinking, “This is not a lot better”.  However, the next morning when I got up and turned on the TV, I could not believe how different it was!  I thought “did I get a new TV over night”. The most amazing thing to me was the sharpness of color!  And after I had the second surgery it was even more amazing! The leaves look greener; the rooms in my house look different and at work the lights are brighter.  When I went for my follow up exam I discovered I have 20-20 vision, the astigmatism was removed and I don’t have to wear glasses for driving.  I’ve worn glasses since I was 16 for driving.  I still have to have those pesky reading glasses!

As I have been going through this experience I have thought often of the story in the Bible found in Mark 8:22-26.

“Some people brought a sightless man and begged Jesus to give him a healing touch. Taking him by the hand, he led him out of the village. He put spit in the man’s eyes, laid hands on him, and asked, “Do you see anything?”

^24-26 He looked up. “I see men. They look like walking trees.” So Jesus laid hands on his eyes again. The man looked hard and realized that he had recovered perfect sight; saw everything in bright, twenty-twenty focus.”    The Message

During this time of “not seeing clearly” I have been thinking about what else I am not seeing clearly in my life.   As I read this scripture I begin to think: Do I need a “Second Touch” from Jesus to help me see clearly other things in my life.

As I continued this journey through the eyes of this scripture I focused on not just my physical sight which now had been restored but my entire journey.  In my spiritual journey I begin to examine if things appeared hazy for example: What does the future hold for me? When difficult times come what I am suppose to seeing? When I have more questions about life than answers, what should I be seeing? Have I been being obedient in following and accepting the things God has placed in my life?

I have to admit that sometimes the life journey becomes hazy and I have contributed to that problem because I have been seeing things in my own eyes rather than looking at life from God’s eyes.  When I try to figure things out or try to fix things I think is wrong, I do have hazy vision.  When I stop and ask for the “second touch” then I begin to see things in a different light. Sometimes it is not until time has passed and I look back to realize how things worked out for the best. It took the challenging times to bring clarity and meaning for the journey.

How do we avoid seeing things as “blurry trees” as the man in the scripture saw?  Perhaps we need to have the “second touch”.  We need to say to God, “I’ve let my vision become blurry, please give me the discernment to look beyond myself and see everything through your eyes.

Even when it seems our vision is still blurry, we can have the confidence to step through the haziness and trust our future is secure in God’s hands?

What seems unclear for you at the moment?  Seek God’s wisdom for your journey through His eyes?

What Time Is It?

I find myself asking that question the last couple of weeks because the battery on my watch is dead.  I have a Seiko watch which was a gift, but it is rather expensive to replace the battery.  So I have not had it replaced at this time.

So I find myself looking at my arm to remember that I don’t have a watch on! So the next question is often, “what time is it”!  I have a clock on my computer and my phone, however, I seem to not be at my desk or have my phone when I need to know the time!

We have a 3 year old in our CLC center who has recently been asking “what time is it?”  One of the teachers’s asked him if he had somewhere he needed to be and he said, “yes, what time is it”!  He had a birthday coming up and his grandmother asked him what he wanted her to buy for his birthday.  He replied, “A clock”! I guess it does not matter that he does not know how to tell time! 

The statement “what time is it” also leads me to think literally about things in my journey of life and pause to wonder, “what time is it really”.  Not what time is on the clock, but the time I spend in my journey of life.  What do I give myself to in the “time department?”

Everyone has 24 hours in a day, yet that never seems to be enough to get everything done that needs to be done.  As I stop and reflect on where my time goes, I have to admit some of it is “wasted” on things that are not really important.

When I think of “what time is it” I am reminded of how precious time really is and that using it wisely is an important part of my journey.  There are many books written about time management.  I think my problem is not so much time management but the need to “evaluate” how I spend my time.  There is a difference.

Some things I think are important to work on include:

1.    There is not a need to get caught up in other people’s drama and waste my time on things that in the end does not really affect me.

2.    I do not have to attend every argument that I am invited too.

3.    Learn to recognize that other people’s opinion does not have to become my reality.

4.    The statement “stupidity is wasting your time on people you don’t even care about” is a daily reminder that being involved with people who I do love and care about deserves more time than wasting time on those people.

5.    If I do not take care of myself, then I will not be able to help take care of others.

6.    Learn to determine what is really important and give priority for those things.  Doing this will bring order and satisfaction in one’s journey.

SO WHAT TIME IS IT?

It is not just numbers on a clock, it is the value we place in our journey and how we choose to spend our time.

If just for one day what do you think would be our biggest surprise if we focus on exactly how we spend the hours in the day?

I think it is time to put into practice the six things I have already mentioned. If we do those things, I think we will really see what time it is.

 

 

A Chance Meeting or A Divine Appointment?



 
A Chance Meeting or A Divine Appointment?

 There have been times in my life when I have met someone or have been in an experience that was totally unexpected.  Often that experience leaves a lasting impression for me or introduces me to a new friends and new insight in my life.

I have often said, “What were the chances of that happening”? OR “What a small world to meet someone who (fill in the blank)”.

As I ponder these situations, I begin to discover maybe it might not have been a “chance meeting” it might in fact been a “divine appointment.”

I believe God is awesome and He lives with us each day and guides us if we will only have the discernment to listen.  I believe He is weaving a tapestry of goodness and kindness of which we are a thread to add color and meaning.  He knows the plans He has for my life as I pick and choose where I go each day.  As I make my schedule, He has some inked-in divine appointments for me to play a part.

I find it exciting that He places various people He wants me to show compassion, empathy and encouragement in the circumstances I encounter.  It also reminds me I need to be aware of my circumstances and not be so busy to miss the opportunities God has given me.  I recognize that I need discernment to recognize His divine appointments and not miss out on the blessings he has for me.

So how do I arrive at that discernment? Perhaps I need to let go of myself and simply be all He has created me to be.  I think a good place to start would to be recognizing His love for me and how I am to love others. 

As I ponder this concept I am reminded of some ways that I may do those things:

·       When others are not kind, show kindness

·       When others are impatient, show patience

·       When others are discouraging, encourage

·       When others are selfish, share what I have

·       When others ignore someone, notice them, smile  and say hello

·       When others reject, insult, betray us, show acceptance, love and forgiveness

 We may never know when those simple “divine appointments” come to us the difference it will make in our lives as well as the lives of others.

So as we think of today and what comes our way, let’s pray for the discernment to see those “divine appointments” God may place in our journey.

 


There have been times in my life when I have met someone or have been in an experience that was totally unexpected.  Often that experience leaves a lasting impression for me or introduces me to a new friends and new insight in my life.
 
I have often said, “What were the chances of that happening”? OR “What a small world to meet someone who (fill in the blank)”.

As I ponder these situations, I begin to discover maybe it might not have been a “chance meeting” it might in fact been a “divine appointment.”

I believe God is awesome and He lives with us each day and guides us if we will only have the discernment to listen.  I believe He is weaving a tapestry of goodness and kindness of which we are a thread to add color and meaning.  He knows the plans He has for my life as I pick and choose where I go each day.  As I make my schedule, He has some inked-in divine appointments for me to play a part.

I find it exciting that He places various people He wants me to show compassion, empathy and encouragement in the circumstances I encounter.  It also reminds me I need to be aware of my circumstances and not be so busy to miss the opportunities God has given me.  I recognize that I need discernment to recognize His divine appointments and not miss out on the blessings he has for me.

So how do I arrive at that discernment? Perhaps I need to let go of myself and simply be all He has created me to be.  I think a good place to start would to be recognizing His love for me and how I am to love others. 

As I ponder this concept I am reminded of some ways that I may do those things:

·       When others are not kind, show kindness

·       When others are impatient, show patience

·       When others are discouraging, encourage

·       When others are selfish, share what I have

·       When others ignore someone, notice them, smile  and say hello

·       When others reject, insult, betray us, show acceptance, love and forgiveness

 We may never know when those simple “divine appointments” come to us the difference it will make in our lives as well as the lives of others.
 
So as we think of today and what comes our way, let’s pray for the discernment to see those “divine appointments” God may place in our journey.

 

Had You Rather Be Right Or Be Kind?

As adults it seems we are not treating each other well these days. Everyone is angry at something or someone.  We are quick to judge and proclaim “I am right and if you don’t agree then you are wrong”. Often that attitude leads to unkind treatment of people and harsh words.

I feel it is so unfortunate that both inside and outside the church, it seems our dislikes and intolerance for people who don’t think or believe the same things we do is increasing and our ability to get along with one another is decreasing in a very dramatic way.

I am reminded of a statement my dad used when talking about how to treat others.  He would say, “Had you rather be right or be kind”?  My dad demonstrated to me it was more important to be kind and I try to practice that in my relationships with people.

In our society today it seems there has developed a sense of “entitlement”.  It is often quoted as 5^th amendment right.  Really? The 5^th amendment does not give anyone the right to be unkind, exclusive or bash people who do not agree with their beliefs or opinions. 

It is true everyone has their right to stand up for their own beliefs. People should support whatever causes they feel best express those beliefs.  However, when did it become acceptable to be so ugly and mean spirited to others who do not agree with those beliefs?

I wonder if that is why people are so turned off to church and attendance has continued to decrease in recent years.  When we read about Jesus’ ministry in the New Testament we find he was accepting of everyone and often reminded the “church leaders” that their rule keeping and finger pointing was not the way God intended for others to be treated.

If I had to summarize what I think we should all do to follow Jesus’ teaching in our world today it would be to love others and be kind.  Perhaps if we spend more time praying for all those we tend to be unkind to we would see a difference in our country.  But more importantly we would see a difference in our own lives.  

My personal goal is to be a person who recognizes everyone is important, everyone needs love, everyone has value and that we do not all have to share the same beliefs to be able to love one another.

So had your rather be right or be kind?  The decision is up to you.

What does loving others really mean?  Maybe we should examine what real love means.  I believe this is a good place to start:

Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

 (1 Cor. 13)