Reflections of my Daddy

One thing I wish for everyday in my life is that I could sit down and talk with my daddy again.  It is hard to believe that it has been 35 years since I have had that opportunity.  I remember my last conversation with him was in the hospital ICU.  He had a major heart attack and the doctor had told us that he would probably not live much longer.  When I went in to see him, tears were rolling down my cheeks. He reached out and took my hand and said, "Don't cry for me, we know that I am going home to a much better place".  Through my tears I replied that I was not crying for him, I was crying for me because I would still be here without him.

I am told that I was a daddy's girl even as a baby.  Mother told me that in the afternoon when I knew it was time for him to come home, I would be in the baby bed crying and when he got home he would come in and pick me up and I was a happy baby then.  As a child I always wanted to go with him and do whatever he was doing.  The only thing I can remember as a child that I did not like doing with him was working in the garden!  He always said the garden was his hobby, but I never understood why I had to work in his hobby.   He would often remind me however, that since I like to eat that it was my responsibility to help with the food that came from the garden.

My dad was a great listener. As a young adult I valued that ability so much.  He listened without the need to fix or to tell you what to do.   I could talk to him about everything and yet he was not one to give quick answers.  He would think about what he was going to say and most of the time he never told you what he thought you should do, but after talking to him you knew what you should do.  I remember when I was finishing up seminary and was dealing with a couple of possible job offers I told him I had been praying but I did not have a clear answer.   His reply was, "Prayer begins by talking to God but it ends by listening to Him."   He said, "You just need to keep listening".  He was right and I was able to discern the direction God was leading me.

The following are some of the invaluable lessons I learned and still try to practice in my life every day.

·         Treat all people with respect.  My daddy treated everyone with respect regardless of social status or color of skin.  He felt everyone was created equally and loved by God, therefore, we should do the same.

·         Be a person of Integrity.  A definition of integrity is: what you do when no one else is watching. He did not believe in trying to be something you were not or doing something just to impress people.  He taught us that being a person whose "talk matched the walk" was a person of integrity.

·         Have a strong work ethic.  A friend of mine defined the word "Commitment" as :

"Doing what you said you would do when the feeling you had when you said you would do it is gone."  This definition defines how daddy felt about commitments you had made, even if something else came up you had rather do you kept your commitments.  My daddy had a very strong work ethic and would always do his best in whatever he was doing.  He felt that any job that you did was worth doing well.  His expectation for his girls was the same.  He was a great supporter of what I wanted to do and always told me the only person who could stop me was myself.

·         Spiritual Leader.  My daddy was a person of faith and practiced his faith in his daily journey. He was not perfect but he did try his very best to please God in everything he did.  His relationship with God was first in his life, next was his family, and third was his church.  I remember one time he was described by Tilford Junkins who was pastor at First Baptist of Athens, "Dewey Dedmon is Baptist from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet".  As I was trying to find discernment in what God was calling me to do, he always was my best encourager.  When I decided that God was calling me to full time church vocation, he was happy and very supportive. When I left to go Seminary he was delighted that I was following God's call.  One time he and mother came to visit me at seminary and he attended one of my Old Testament Classes with me.  When we were walking back to my dorm I said, "Well, you can now say you have been to seminary." His smile told me all I needed to know of how he felt.

         I never knew growing up that a "girl" could not be a minister in a church.  My daddy always said,   "You can be anything God calls you to be." My first church I had the privilege of serving with  Bro. E.T. Waddell in Decatur, Al.  My title was Minister of Education and I had a wonderful time fulfilling my calling to ministry with that church. He was also an encourager of my ministry just like daddy was.  So I had two positive influences in my life during the beginning of my ministry. 

        One of my regrets is that my daddy had already died when I was ordained at First Baptist of        Roswell.  I know he would have been the first in line for the "blessing of laying on  of hands."      I am proud that my sister's and their families were there for this special time in my life and I feel  they were representative of both Mother and Daddy.

As I begin to think of Father's Day this year, there is always an empty feeling as I look at Father's Day cards or even hearing commercials about telling your dad you love him.  I know my dad knew that I loved him, I just wish that I could tell him that one more time.  So if you still have your father, take the time to say I love you because when that is no longer possible here on this earth, you will be glad you did.