Dear Mom,
We are still in Bethlehem—Mary and I and little Jesus.
There are a lot of things I have not been able to talk to you
about but I’m not sure you would have believed me anyway. I want to share those things with you now and
I hope you understand.
Mom, you know I have always loved Mary. In fact, you and dad use to tease me about
her when she was still a young girl. I
remember playing with her and her brothers on our street even though I was
older than them. I remember the dinners
we would have together as families. It
was always fun to share times with each other’s families.
Just over a year ago was one of the hardest days in my
life. It was when I was 20 and Mary was
about 15 and we were already betrothed and signed the marriage agreement at our
engagement. At the same time, Mary left
abruptly to visit her cousin Elizabeth in Judea. She was gone for three months. When she got back, people were asking if she
was pregnant.
I heard all those rumors and it was hard for me. So one day I finally asked her, “Mary are you
going to have a baby?” Her brown eyes
meet mine and she nodded yes?
I really did not know what to say but I finally muttered,
“Who”?
Mom, Mary and I had never acted improperly—even after we were
engaged. I did not know what to think.
Mary in her quiet sweet way said to me, “Joseph, there is no
way I can explain. You would not understand. But I want you to know that I have
never cared for or loved anyone but you.”
She got up and took my hands into hers and kissed them both and started
home. She must have been dying inside, I
know I was.
The rest of that day I stumbled through my chores, it is a
wonder I did not hurt myself in the shop.
I was angry and my thoughts whirled around fast in my head. I finally
decided the best thing to do was to end the marriage contract with a quiet
divorce. I loved her too much to make a
public scene.
I could not talk to you or anyone for that matter. When I went to bed that night I was very
restless. I kept hearing Mary’s voice in
my head, “I never cared for anyone but you”.
I wish I could believe her!
I finally drifted off to sleep and Mom you will not believe
what happened. I had a dream and an angel visited me in the dream. The angel said, “Joseph, do not afraid to
marry Mary. Her pregnancy is
Spirit-conceived. God’s Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. She will have a son and when she does you,
Joseph, will name him Jesus, meaning God Saves, because he will save his people
from their sins.” I remember that angel
as if it were yesterday. It was as if
the angel held my shoulders with his huge hands and his gaze pierced deep
within me.
When I woke up, I thought, “This is the answer”. The angel has
given me the reason. I got up dressed quietly so I would not awake you and I
went outside for a walk. I must have
walked for miles in the moonlight. Stars pricked the sky with light and there
was a warm breeze blowing on my face.
I even sang to the Lord, Mom.
I know yes me singing. I could not contain my joy and I told God I would
take Mary and care for her. I told Him I would watch over her and the child and
I would always be there for her no matter what anyone said.
As the sun was coming up and I got close to home, I could see
you outside and you were surprised to see me, remember? I said, “Mom, sit down
there is something I need to tell you.”
You sat down on that big rock and I said, “Mom, I am going to bring Mary
home as my wife. Could you help make a
place for her things?”
You were silent for a long time. Then you said, “You do know what they are
saying, don’t you son?” Your eyes were
brimming with tears. “Yes, Mom, I know”.
Your voice started to rise as you said, “If your father were
still alive, he’d have some words like, “I’ll tell you, going about like that
before you are married. Disgracing the family and all. You and Mary should be
ashamed of yourselves”!
I knew you would never believe me if I’d tried to explain, so
I just did not. Unless the angel had spoken to you personally I knew you would
not understand and would have laughed at me.
I remember saying, “Mom this is the right thing to do”. Then I said in a little huff, “When she comes
I do not want one word uttered to her about this. She is your daughter in law and you will
respect her. She’ll need your help to
bear the neighbors’ wagging tongues.”
Mom, you did not deserve that and when you got up to walk
away, I knew you were angry with me. But when I said, “I need you”. You took my
hand, got to your feet, but the fire was gone from your eyes.
“You can count on me Joseph”, you said as you gave me a big
hug. I knew you meant it and I never heard another word. A new bride could not
have hoped for a better mother in law than you those next few months.
After I left you, I went to Mary’s house. I knocked on the
door and her mother came to the door but I could tell she was angry. She finally loudly said, “It’s Joseph!”
almost spitting my name out as she said it.
Mary came to the door and I could tell she had been
crying. She looked afraid. I took her hand and I said, “Pack your
things, Mary.” As gently as I could say it I said, “I’m taking you home to be
my wife”.
“Joseph” she said. She
hugged me really tight. I could see her
eyes become brighter with the news.
I told her what I had been planning. “We’ll go to Rabbi Ben-Ezer’s house this week
and have him perform the ceremony”. Mary
was shuddering as she sobbed quietly.
“Mary”, I said. I could
feel myself speaking more boldly, “No matter what anyone says about you, I’m
proud you’re going to be my wife. I’m
going to take good care of you, I have promised God that.”
She looked up at me questioning me with her eyes. I said,
“Mary I had a dream last night, and the angel told me, I know”. The fear was gone and she was radiant as we
turned away from the house and began to walk up the hill.
Mom, I think her mother must have been listening because she
came running out in the yard, “Wait” she called. Tears were streaming down her
cheeks. She said, “I’ll get your Father,
we are going to have a wedding”.
So that how it was, Mom.
I will have to share all the amazing things that have happened since we
arrived in Bethlehem. You won’t believe
all those things to, but it has been amazing to be part of God’s plan for the
world.
I will write again soon.
Love, Joseph
